We were shock to hear again another bom exploded at the mosque in Cirebon, West Jave last Friday, in April 15, 2011 during the Friday sholat. The case has been investigating by polices. However we know that the person who did the suicide bom was considered as a unstable person. He is a man whose wife is waiting to deliver their baby.
I just finished my writing about my baby of the marmer. Then I remember of the wife of the man who died after the bom exploded. What would be her feeling to know that her husband did such a shocking news for all people in Indonesia. I would love to be with her to comfort her in her difficulty time. Suicide booming was happening among the Palestinians whose mothers standed patiently to lift up their children into God's hands. Mothers are part of the spirit of struggles among the Palestinian people who have lost their homebase in their own land.
The case of the wife of bomber in Cirebon is different from the mothers in Palestine. But I feel like I understand their feeling about life. Having a baby means opening our heart to the new chance that she/he will have to have. I should say that they have to have what they ought to become as they also have their rights to good life to live in. Then we will invest our times to grow together with the baby.
I never have my own physical baby, but I live with Syalom, the baby of my brother and his wife, Vina. I observe Syalom growing. Their home is the next door to us. I admire the creation of life made by God as I have seen in her little growth, in Syalom.
Our personality relates with our psychological problems that we carry since we are little. Even I am proud with my mother, I also feel piety to her due to the codemnation given by my eldest brother who sometime points to her. She has been blamed as a cause of my brother's tempramental behaviours. My mother once told me when we shared about our life during our early childhood, when we were little and growing up. She said that she had a emotional difficulty during her first pregnancy.
Marriage brings a transition and we need to work closely to overcome a trambeling feeling in this new step of our life. My mother believes that her early feeling after the marriage to have her first child might be the cause to the unsable feelings of my eldest brother who we love so much up to now.
People in times and places have experienced pain and suffering for any reasons that we can not comprehend except we recognise our own struggles to relate with others.
So what could we do after we understand it? What will we do? Where are the strengths which can give us a home for moving to a new hope to act in a good manner?
I believe in everywhere we will look for the foundation of value that guide our life. Our practices on religions could become an inspiration to withdraw a deep solution. Perhaps this is the case in Indonesia where religions influence people of faiths in many many ways. Can we reconcile ourselves, our phychological problems to get the strengths from our religious teachings?
When we imaginate our life as a blessing of God, we will honour those who have done violent actions with respectful atttitude to bring them out from a trap of their own enmity feelings. We will work to find the way where our tradition can help us to imagine the life. We will work with new interpretation from our religious teachings to see mercy and love of God whose life have given to us to be blessing for all people.
Women and men are called to imagine the life in the fact there are so many crimes around us. This is I believe in, the only way to transform violent action to become a living behaviour. This is only the beginning of the foundation to think differently in order to dig out the essence of our religious strengths to make a living condition peacefully and beautifully.
Below you will see the picture that shows how children are taught to imagine the voices of lions. They imitated lions to feel anger and wildness of these animals in order to conceptualize the distinction between them as human beings and the animals. They learn slowly to control their emotion. Their complexity of feelings need to be acknowledged and to be named by themselves. Songs that are sang following with actions children sing, need to inspire them to open for a good imagination of life.
When they since beginning are introduced with words of hatred feeling to refer to particular people, they at the same time develop their idea of fighting to something that they have no understanding before. Something outside them need to be killed because they are being destroyed. This mechanism of defence does not grow naturally as a reflective response human beings have.
The early teaching about hating to people as we write in the mind of children, will shape their mechanism of defence to be uncontrolled aggression. For the whole life these children will live with feelings of suspecion to others. In this condition, they are very easy to be manipulated for any reason to attack because they already develop the stereotipes of a particular people to be seeing as their enemies.
Can children have their rights to be free of this ways of us as adult people to educate them? Can children have their rights to imagine life not violent action, hatred feelings that are shaped in their mind through songs to pointing others as "kafir" (infidel)? Then children develop the word of "kafir" to name to any people who do not support their belief, ideas and plans to what they really want to do eagerly as their awaiting realities!
I imagine the man, the bomber has developed this feeling since his early childhood to wait for the right time to fulfill what he believe in as his reality. Then the last Friday was the time to achieve what he had been carring as the truth.
I wish this background of my thought is not too complex to explain what I want to say to the wife of the suicide bomer. I hope she understands what she can choose for her new baby, to have a life or a death. I believe in her whose hope can make a difference for her baby.
I remember meeting Prof. Daniel Lev, an Indonesianist whose work I used in my writing, and I met him at Seattle University in Washington State few years before he died. He told me at the beautiful afternoon while having lunch at the native type restaurant along the lake of Washington that the differences of him and me was on "the hope". Then he shared his story when his grandchild was born. He visited him/her, I am not sure which gender he referred too, but he took him/her into his hand to lift up sadly while saying that he was doubtful about the grandchild future in the US settings. Future that might be around with hatred stereotyping, violence to other races and nations. Then he smiled to encourage me when he said: "You, Farsijana, have your hope to see the life". I smiled back to him and said "yes" sir. Only life can make a hope to living.
Therefore I will not call the bomber's name, because I know his name can be put on other people names from different tradition, religious, ethnic backgrounds. He has killed himself for many reasons, but the life is strong than the death. We those who believe will then work to think a new way to give hope for our children, youth and people around for a better life of everyone.
Children learn how to imagine and to imitate the voices and the behaviours of lions at Pondok Tali Rasa
I just finished my writing about my baby of the marmer. Then I remember of the wife of the man who died after the bom exploded. What would be her feeling to know that her husband did such a shocking news for all people in Indonesia. I would love to be with her to comfort her in her difficulty time. Suicide booming was happening among the Palestinians whose mothers standed patiently to lift up their children into God's hands. Mothers are part of the spirit of struggles among the Palestinian people who have lost their homebase in their own land.
The case of the wife of bomber in Cirebon is different from the mothers in Palestine. But I feel like I understand their feeling about life. Having a baby means opening our heart to the new chance that she/he will have to have. I should say that they have to have what they ought to become as they also have their rights to good life to live in. Then we will invest our times to grow together with the baby.
I never have my own physical baby, but I live with Syalom, the baby of my brother and his wife, Vina. I observe Syalom growing. Their home is the next door to us. I admire the creation of life made by God as I have seen in her little growth, in Syalom.
Our personality relates with our psychological problems that we carry since we are little. Even I am proud with my mother, I also feel piety to her due to the codemnation given by my eldest brother who sometime points to her. She has been blamed as a cause of my brother's tempramental behaviours. My mother once told me when we shared about our life during our early childhood, when we were little and growing up. She said that she had a emotional difficulty during her first pregnancy.
Marriage brings a transition and we need to work closely to overcome a trambeling feeling in this new step of our life. My mother believes that her early feeling after the marriage to have her first child might be the cause to the unsable feelings of my eldest brother who we love so much up to now.
People in times and places have experienced pain and suffering for any reasons that we can not comprehend except we recognise our own struggles to relate with others.
So what could we do after we understand it? What will we do? Where are the strengths which can give us a home for moving to a new hope to act in a good manner?
I believe in everywhere we will look for the foundation of value that guide our life. Our practices on religions could become an inspiration to withdraw a deep solution. Perhaps this is the case in Indonesia where religions influence people of faiths in many many ways. Can we reconcile ourselves, our phychological problems to get the strengths from our religious teachings?
When we imaginate our life as a blessing of God, we will honour those who have done violent actions with respectful atttitude to bring them out from a trap of their own enmity feelings. We will work to find the way where our tradition can help us to imagine the life. We will work with new interpretation from our religious teachings to see mercy and love of God whose life have given to us to be blessing for all people.
Women and men are called to imagine the life in the fact there are so many crimes around us. This is I believe in, the only way to transform violent action to become a living behaviour. This is only the beginning of the foundation to think differently in order to dig out the essence of our religious strengths to make a living condition peacefully and beautifully.
Below you will see the picture that shows how children are taught to imagine the voices of lions. They imitated lions to feel anger and wildness of these animals in order to conceptualize the distinction between them as human beings and the animals. They learn slowly to control their emotion. Their complexity of feelings need to be acknowledged and to be named by themselves. Songs that are sang following with actions children sing, need to inspire them to open for a good imagination of life.
When they since beginning are introduced with words of hatred feeling to refer to particular people, they at the same time develop their idea of fighting to something that they have no understanding before. Something outside them need to be killed because they are being destroyed. This mechanism of defence does not grow naturally as a reflective response human beings have.
The early teaching about hating to people as we write in the mind of children, will shape their mechanism of defence to be uncontrolled aggression. For the whole life these children will live with feelings of suspecion to others. In this condition, they are very easy to be manipulated for any reason to attack because they already develop the stereotipes of a particular people to be seeing as their enemies.
Can children have their rights to be free of this ways of us as adult people to educate them? Can children have their rights to imagine life not violent action, hatred feelings that are shaped in their mind through songs to pointing others as "kafir" (infidel)? Then children develop the word of "kafir" to name to any people who do not support their belief, ideas and plans to what they really want to do eagerly as their awaiting realities!
I imagine the man, the bomber has developed this feeling since his early childhood to wait for the right time to fulfill what he believe in as his reality. Then the last Friday was the time to achieve what he had been carring as the truth.
I wish this background of my thought is not too complex to explain what I want to say to the wife of the suicide bomer. I hope she understands what she can choose for her new baby, to have a life or a death. I believe in her whose hope can make a difference for her baby.
I remember meeting Prof. Daniel Lev, an Indonesianist whose work I used in my writing, and I met him at Seattle University in Washington State few years before he died. He told me at the beautiful afternoon while having lunch at the native type restaurant along the lake of Washington that the differences of him and me was on "the hope". Then he shared his story when his grandchild was born. He visited him/her, I am not sure which gender he referred too, but he took him/her into his hand to lift up sadly while saying that he was doubtful about the grandchild future in the US settings. Future that might be around with hatred stereotyping, violence to other races and nations. Then he smiled to encourage me when he said: "You, Farsijana, have your hope to see the life". I smiled back to him and said "yes" sir. Only life can make a hope to living.
Therefore I will not call the bomber's name, because I know his name can be put on other people names from different tradition, religious, ethnic backgrounds. He has killed himself for many reasons, but the life is strong than the death. We those who believe will then work to think a new way to give hope for our children, youth and people around for a better life of everyone.
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